Enjoying nothingness!

“Amna?” mom said as she picked up the newspapers from the tea table in front of us.

I lifted my eyes from my cup and gave her the I-am-listening look while sipping my morning Karak tea.

“How are you? What have you been up to? Are you going to your friend’s wedding tomorrow?”

I started telling her about my friends and the world cup because those two are only things keeping me busy at the moment. I continued telling her how some girls are doing summer internships and some girls are taking summer courses until she stopped me and asked me “what have you been up to.. YOU?”

“Me?” I asked her… and myself!

I stayed quiet for a bit thinking of a single thing worth mentioning and came up with nothing. I have to admit, a strange feeling of guilt came over me. I felt like a lazy loser and I felt like I should’ve gotten some stuff done. What stuff? I don’t exactly know but we are all told that we should be terribly busy doing “something.” I felt especially guilty because doing nothing was my choice. I made that decision. I’ve declined internship offers from Shell Qatar, QP and ICT-Qatar and I chose not to enroll in any summer courses with some of my friends.

I’ve never done this before, doing nothing. The past two summers were packed with work and summer school. Those who know me know how hardworking and busy I usually am. So, am I wasting my time doing nothing? Did I make a mistake by deciding to take the whole summer off?

I responded to my mom in the saddest tone “nothing mom…..i haven’t been up to anything” I continued, “ mom, be honest with me! do you think I’ve wasted the first month and a half of my summer break doing nothing?”

My mom put her newspaper back on the table and started asking me “Didn’t you go to mecca? Didn’t you go to Dubai? How many parties and outings have you been to?” I rolled my eyes because she sounded so irrelevant! What does traveling to mecca and going to parties have to do with anything????

But then she said “ Amna, you might be doing nothing, but you are not wasting your time! You are finally sitting with us for lunch like a family member… you are finally free to read books for fun… you are finally free to visit the gym whenever you want… you are finally free to go to the spa whenever you want…you are finally free to take the yoga classes you told me about… you are finally free to start cooking and baking… you are finally free to start working on the project you’ve been passionate about for the past year… you are finally free to get together with friends whenever you want… I would do anything to have the time to do any of those things!! This is not nothing!!! Amna, you are 21, live like a 21 year old and enjoy every minute of it…eat better, sleep better, pray more and take care of yourself... no regrets!”

Okaaaaaay so the mother has a point… I guess! I should stop feeling guilty and start enjoying the nothingness… at least to make myself more productive when I actually do work.

Fyi, the conversation with mom was in Arabic and her pep talk was more than an hour long LOL but I just stopped listening when she started talking about her life when she was 21 :x

Fyi again, I only wrote this post because my friends are sick of my worldcup posts haha

- Lamoona